Qweary: Androgynous Style with Lace and Lingerie?

Anonymous asked: "I'm nonbinary and I love the look of lace and lingerie in my style but I don't want to present femme, I'd like to be seen as more androgynous. Do you have any tips on how I can do that?"

Edited by Sonny Oram / Authors: Kris Ford, Pris Matic, Jaime Marie Estrada, Kelly Alice, Rupi and friends

Queer lace maker Kris Ford says, "Lace is the ultimate accessory! It's also an ancient art form with maaaannnnnnyyyyy different styles and ways of being. Remember that lace in itself is only open-work fabric, made by creative twisting and knotting and looping of whatever medium you choose. For you, lace might mean chain mail, might mean mesh, might mean all sorts of things. If you use that definition to widen the field of what means 'lace' to you, you give yourself lots and lots of options."

Here are our tips:

1. Mix lace with harder fabrics

"Mix it with 'harder' fabrics like leather and cuts that aren’t traditionally 'femme.'" — Jaime Marie Estrada

"Look at designers such as Gareth Pugh, Alexander McQueen, Zana Bayne. I like adding assymetry, layers, hoods, cloaks, zips, cuts, rips, etc. Also non-traditional lingerie fabrics — wool, mesh, chainmail. I'm biased and have always found punk, goth and fetish aesthetics have good genderfuckery in their use of lingerie — adding d-rings, belts, ripped fishnet, etc. A corset can look fantastic with a suit but I don't think they necessarily reads femme depending on how you accesorize" — Pris Matic

2. Use lace and lingerie as accent pieces

"Think about lace and lingerie pieces as accents and not the center of the whole look" — Jaime Marie Estrada

3. Try dark colors

"Darker colors for the lace might work better for what you’re trying to achieve. Avoid white and pastels and go for black or rich tones like burgundy, indigo, or forest green." — Deirdre Wade

4. Or Vivid Colors

Pris Matic suggests bold, bright, neon, and vivid shades. "There are some great fabrics at Ulalume Lingerie in burnt orange, purple mesh, etc, that can be easily  combined with other items for a fierce and bold look."

5. Try pieces that use lace and lingerie in unconventional ways

Tip from Laura Heinemann


6. Look to Prince for inspiration

"Think of how Prince worked lace in! Lacey pocket kerchiefs could be super cute. Lace tights under ripped jeans. Lace scarf wrapping head or tied into hair. Penny loafers, Lacey socks, high water or Cropped pants. Lace fingerless gloves. Lace shawl. All depends on how you pair these things with other elements in the wardrobe." — Kelly Alice

 Via Billboard.com

Via Billboard.com


7. And Bowie

 David Bowie, 1971, from the  Hunky Dory  covershoot, by Brian Ward.

David Bowie, 1971, from the Hunky Dory covershoot, by Brian Ward.


8. Wear lacey boxers and lingerie under your clothes

"Lace boxer briefs are definitely a thing and I'm not talking about "boy shorts" either." — Kayla Layne Crawford/ The Pocket Tomboy

"Underwear is like a secret treat. I wear lace underwear underneath a very tomboyish look and I feel like a spy and I love it." —  Paula Rendón

 Black Lace Boxers /  Foxers  / Bluestockings Boutique

Black Lace Boxers / Foxers / Bluestockings Boutique


9. (If you're feeling crafty) Add lace accents to your clothes

 Via: floreportfolio

Via: floreportfolio


"For a less traditionally feminine touch, research different kinds of lace and see what strikes your fancy. Order some and lay it over a tie or a belt, or even line the inside of a pocket for a nice flash of frill." — Kris Ford

You can also use lace to patch up your jeans.


"Lace is perfect for patching up moth holes on wool sweaters. Also, if you add them to a collar it helps stiffen them." — Rupi

10. Or, Try Lace Cutouts

"Take a nice white shirt and replace the elbow patches or the shoulders with lace. Plenty of Youtube tutorials on that! If you have any upper body tattoos that you really like, lace cutouts are a great way to show them off too! — Kris Ford


I hope these ideas will lead to some fun experimentation with lace and lingerie! Show us your outfits with #Qwear on Instagram.

I'm going to leave you with one more photo for inspiration:

... okay 2