Dear Ellen Degeneres... What Happened?

We used to be friends 😭

Ellen Degeneres helped me figure out I was queer. We were watching her April 30, 1997 sitcom in ninth grade health class where she was the first main TV character to come out on public television. She shared her feelings to her therapist, played by Oprah, about discovering she was gay. She said she had recognized attraction towards girls from a young age but kept thinking if she ignored it, maybe it would go away. 

Ellen in her sitcom with her therapist played by Opera.  ABC Photo Archives | Credit: ABC Photo Archives/Getty Images

Ellen in her sitcom with her therapist played by Opera.
ABC Photo Archives | Credit: ABC Photo Archives/Getty Images

It was then that I realized that my feelings wouldn’t go away either. And maybe that was ok.

In the sitcom, Ellen even made fun of white queers who think they are the epitome of oppression by telling Opera she doesn’t understand what it’s like to be different, conjuring laughter from the audience. Spheres of oppression, on a very basic level, were being addressed. I don’t believe it was a mistake that Ellen chose to bring light to race issues in the same string of episodes she came out in. Ellen was the type of person who wanted to bring light to social issues through humor, and she was quite frankly GREAT at it.

Ellen announced over the airport speaker to her love interest that she’s gay in “the Puppy Episode”

Ellen announced over the airport speaker to her love interest that she’s gay in “the Puppy Episode”

The April 14, 1997 cover of TIME, when Ellen came out

The April 14, 1997 cover of TIME, when Ellen came out

I borrowed the remaining Ellen cassettes from my health teacher and watched the rest of the series on my own. I witnessed earth shattering moments in the history of television: Ellen waking up in an alternate universe where being gay is the norm and being straight is deemed unnatural, Ellen questioning her sexuality after coming out and kissing her old boyfriend, Ellen getting to know the queer community and figuring out where she fits amongst them, Ellen quitting her job because her boss is homophobic. Ellen risked her entire career to have these important conversations about sexual identity and wound up being fired from the show.

So Ellen… what happened?

I could tell things were different when The Ellen DeGeneres Show started in 2003. She hardly spoke about being gay anymore. She’d mention her partner Portia, but for the most part, sexuality, and with it any types of political discussion, was off the table. Her show turned vapid. I was embarrassed to have ever associated with her. Throughout political turmoil, she continued to take no stance on anything. She could have used her platform to hold so many important discussions about Black Lives Matter, and the many issues in queer and trans rights that have occurred over the past ten years, but she chooses to stay silent.

She even befriended George Bush, a perpetrator of violence against POC and queer communities, claiming that she can be friends with people she doesn’t always agree with. Which might not be a big deal if she was willing to challenge people on these issues 

But I didn’t realize how mean Ellen is too. Mindy Kaling released “Late Night” last year about a mean talk-show host that was pretty obviously about Ellen’s show. Emma Thompson, (who appeared on Ellen’s first sitcom as a gay actress), died her hair blonde and behaved in the coldest way imaginable to her staff.

Now reports are coming out that the movie’s portrayal was not far from the truth.

In July, over ten employees described The Ellen DeGeneres Show as a toxic workplace environment of “racism, fear, and intimidation.” (thecut.com) From being fired after taking medical leave for a suicide attempt, to racist comments from producers, to sexual harassment and abuse, The Ellen DeGeneres Show is far from the cheery image Ellen pretends to live by. According to her writers, Ellen would chastise them when she thought their jokes weren’t funny.

We must hold Ellen accountable for her bullying and all this horrific behavior happening under her watch. In a large majority of cases, people treat others poorly because they themselves are miserable. So make a change, Ellen!

A recent photo of Ellen looking very unhappy, Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

A recent photo of Ellen looking very unhappy, Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Ellen, you used to be a social justice warrior, and after being bullied you turned into an oppressor. You can do better. You must do better for the community. Remember who you are, Ellen. Get back to your roots and stop being terrified by those who tried to silence you. We are waiting for you to take us back to your roots where you empowered others and dismantled LGBTQ+ stigma. We would love to see you dedicate 15 minutes of your show to social issues like the murder epidemic of trans women of color.

You can inspire other mainstream celebrities to dismantle discrimination and talk about issues that matter. You have an inspiring story of overcoming discrimination and you can use your platform to uplift other queer and trans voices, particularly those of color.

In an age where the Trump administration is flooding news outlets with fake news, you have the platform and ability to correct false news and help people with mental health issues.

You can’t undo the past, but you can change the future. Inspire Kaling to make a “Late Night 2” about your come back.

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Sonny Oram

Sonny Oram founded Qwear in 2011: the world’s first online queer fashion incubator. Their work has been featured in The New York Times, The Boston Globe, Huffpost, and Buzzeed, among others. Sonny has been published in books including Beyonce in Formation and The Dangers of Fashion: Towards Ethical and Sustainable Solutions. In 2019, Sonny founded Qwear Media to help diversify advertising.

Outside of Qwear, Sonny works at MIT as a Communications Officer, where they use their expertise in creating online movements to curate MIT’s online presence.

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