Working Out While Queer: 6 Tips to Overcoming Gym-timidation

By Guest Writer, Mia Barnes, Editor-in-Chief at Body+Mind

I used to walk into the gym with a mask of confidence. Each day, I’d pretend I knew what to do on the machines and that nobody was staring at me. However, the fake-it-till-you-make-it strategy was more exhausting than the exercise. For too long, I secretly lived in fear about being discovered as someone who didn’t belong. I felt as if I was under a microscope, and everyone was watching each move I made and exercise I performed. And if my form was off, or I looked lost, or someone was using a machine I wanted to try next, all eyes were on me. In a gym setting, it’s easy to compare yourself to others and think that they belong here, but not me. I had to remind myself that I am allowed to take up space. I also realized that everyone is too busy worrying about themselves to take notice of what you are doing, and that ultimately, the gym is more of a personal lab than a stage.

It’s a place where we should feel free to express ourselves without judgment. Here are six ways to find strength in a way that feels authentic to you as a queer individual.

1. Ask for an Orientation

Whether you’re new to gym-going or have been there multiple times before, you can request an orientation to get a closer look at the facilities. 

Gendered bathrooms can be a fitness barrier for trans and gender-diverse individuals due to safety and privacy concerns, so check for single-stall changing rooms and trans-affirming signage. 

First, search through the gym’s website for amenities and facilities. You may be able to see photo galleries or video walk-throughs. Private, lockable rooms are practical and inclusive solutions for all genders and body types.

2. Check the Rules for protections

During orientation, ask questions about the code of conduct and policies. A strong rulebook means you’ll be more protected against harassment and judgment. 

Look for explicit non-discrimination policies and reporting procedures. When considering gyms, I also check the dress codes for gender-neutral language.

Besides the rules, I note the interactions I have with the staff. It’s essential for them to use inclusive language in greetings and treat all members with respect.

3. Wear What Makes You Feel Powerful

People of larger body sizes may feel out of place in the gym and fear being made fun of. You can change this tune by wearing well-fitting, functional activewear to increase comfort.

I used to think the most “flattering” activewear could make me invisible or immune. However, it’s important to recognize that we can't change how others think.

One solution is to prioritize finding a size-friendly gym. Check marketing photos for people of all sizes, ages, and ethnicities.

Then, I’ll look for myself when touring the gym. Orientation is a good time to see if gymgoers are wearing casual gym clothes or dressed like professional athletes.

4. Search for Safe People

Bringing a friend to the gym is typically a good idea. For example, a 2023 Journal of Aging and Health study said companions encourage physical activity and mental health outcomes.

However, it’s not always possible, especially for trans people. The good news is that you can find safety and signs of inclusivity within the gym.

Perform an environmental scan for kindness. As you search, you may find people on a similar wavelength as you.

For example, quiet signals could include rainbow pins on gym bags or Pride-themed stickers on water bottles.

5. Find Your Niche With Special Services

The main floor can feel intimidating and too open-ended, whereas smaller spaces feel more personal. Find your favorite niche through specialized services that give variety to your routine.

For example, you could use saunas for relaxation or martial arts classes to make you feel safer. Even adjacent exercises like boxer squat punches can effectively increase strength in your arms and glutes.

Niche activities are vital because they create safer, affirming micro-communities. For example, I joined a climbing class because it felt welcoming. 

Collaboration is baked into the process, so we constantly share information. It feels far different from the weight-training area, where people have given unsolicited advice on my form.

6. Listen to Familiar Music or a Podcast

The gym is a less intimidating environment with your favorite songs playing, so put on headphones to block out the world and give yourself something familiar. Music boosts mood and motivation as you work out. 

If you’re focusing on the tunes, you have a fun distraction from your fatigue. Think of your playlist as an emotional catalyst and a personal hype person. 

When I work out, I get pumped up to songs by Megan Thee Stallion, Cobrah and MUNA, but listen to whatever makes you feel strong and confident. 

The gym is a space you have the right to enter and feel present. Your journey should let you embrace yourself from day one and celebrate every victory. Be selective in the gym you sign up for, as it determines your path to wellness. Choose joy, celebrate your body and move with strength.